You can't move forward in the neutral zone

Life isn't neutral. You’re always moving towards something or away from it.

But moving away doesn’t mean opposition; it means you’re choosing a different path that meets your needs.

Yes, we homeschool our children, and it is still surprising how it often surprises people.

When they learn about our choice, some immediately ask what’s wrong with the school system or talk about how their own children would miss out on “socialization” or other benefits assumed to be exclusive to traditional schooling.

It's important to clarify that choosing to homeschool isn’t about being against schools. Yes, there are aspects of traditional schooling that don’t align with what I want for my home, making homeschooling a stronger choice for us.

But at home, we engage in many educational activities similar to those in schools—we cover reading, writing, math, and science. My daughters are learning effectively in an environment we’ve thoughtfully chosen.

This decision isn’t about opposition; it's about preference and aligning with our family’s values and needs. It’s not a case of picking a side against schooling; it’s about choosing a path that suits us.

Here’s what often gets misunderstood:

• Choosing for yourself isn’t anti-anything: It’s about making personal decisions that align with your own standards.

• Understanding your motivations is key: If your life's decisions are based on being against something, you will miss opportunities that align with your true desires. You need to know what you don't want, but it’s even more necessary to get clear on what you “do” want.

Why Choosing Isn't About Sides, But About Standing for Your Convictions

A few weeks ago, I shared a video on why I chose homeschooling over public schooling, not to criticize those who choose public schools but to highlight a deeper principle: the importance of active involvement in our children's education. This isn't just about where they study; it's about what we as parents are aiming to cultivate in them.

Imagine handing over your child for 8 hours a day to a system or individual whose values clash with yours. It's not just about education—it's about shaping a worldview. When parents don't understand why their children turn out differently than expected, it's often because those critical, formative hours are spent away from their foundational values and practices.

Here's a personal story that might strike a chord:

The backlash was quick by a few. One woman, in particular, saw it as an attack on her life, she argued fiercely against my perspective. She wanted me to admit that my ability to homeschool was a 'privilege,' and not a conscious choice open to all. When I didn’t budge on my stance she launched into personal insults that I guess were meant to bully me into changing my mind and accepting my “privileged” life. I probably don’t need to tell you that didn’t happen.

This confrontation highlighted a few critical points:

• Personal Choices as Convictions: Choosing homeschooling wasn't about being anti-school. Choosing my reasons and not someone else’s was me exercising yet another choice in how I express my life.

• Economic Assumptions: The argument that homeschooling requires a lot of money is a common misconception and I promise to dedicate more newsletters towards this. In reality, my family spends less now on education than we did during a brief stint in private schooling. Then when we started homeschooling we were still paying property taxes and the majority went to the local public school system that we weren’t using. So in some ways, we were paying more for other kids’ education than our children’s. It’s not about financial privilege but about prioritizing resources to align with personal convictions.

• The Reaction to Choices: The intense reaction from the other parent was telling. It revealed how deeply we tie our identities to our choices and how threatening alternative viewpoints can be when they challenge our status quo.

• This isn't just about defending a position but about questioning whether our choices genuinely reflect our deepest values or if they're convenient responses to perceived limitations.

This isn’t unique to me; it plays out daily in various forms across countless families.

You must understand not just what you stand against, but what you stand for. It's about making informed, conscious choices that resonate with your core beliefs and values.

But if living a life “against” something is a bad idea the illusion of neutrality is even worse.

Standing Still Means Falling Behind.

Falling behind in your own mission in life.

In today's world, the call to be "neutral" is louder than ever. We're told that accepting everything without judgment is the hallmark of a good person.

Neutrality isn’t possible.

It’s an illusion.

It’s a trap?

"Neutral" Might Just Be Another Word for Nowhere

Neutrality isn't the sanctuary it's cracked up to be. It’s a myth that being neutral keeps you safe from making the wrong choices.

It actually leaves you stranded, right where you started, or worse, pushed wherever the tide wants you to go.

The Fallacy of 'Not Choosing'

• Natural Choices: Look around; nature doesn't do neutral. The sun doesn’t pause to shine, nor does the moon opt out of pulling the tides. They follow their paths relentlessly, and we are grateful they do. What if they decided to 'take a break' or stay neutral?

• Risk of Indecision: Sitting on the fence might seem safe—no enemies, no blame, right?

  Wrong. By not choosing, you hand over your power. You let others' wills and whims dictate your path, and suddenly, you're not living your life; you're a spectator in it.

The Reality of Neutrality:

• Neutrality is a Myth: The sun can't decide not to rise. We can't opt out of making choices. Life doesn't pause; staying "neutral" is really just passive decision-making.

• The Danger of Stagnation: In a world that constantly evolves, standing still is falling behind.

Blind Acceptance: When you accept everything, you stand for nothing. True acceptance isn't about agreeing with everything; it's about accepting when to say yes and when to say no.

The Cost of Blind Acceptance: Accepting without discernment leads you to adopt beliefs and practices that conflict with your deepest values. It’s demoralizing — it goes against the natural order.

The Power of Choice:

• Choosing Is Living: Every decision, from the mundane to the monumental, moves you in a direction. Choosing is how you navigate your path.

• The Trap of False Freedom: Neutrality promises freedom but delivers confinement. True freedom comes from making informed choices, not from avoiding them.

The Neutral Zone Demands a Point Of Clarification to Proceed.

Have you ever asked a person, "What would you like to do?" and get a big, unsure "I don't know, I don’t have a preference" in response? At first glance, "I don't know" seems harmless, doesn't it?

But let's dig a little deeper.

"I don't know" can be a doorway or a roadblock—it all depends on what you do with it.

This simple phrase is a classic example of standing at the crossroads of decision-making.

It's where the real danger of staying neutral shows up.

• Opportunity to Explore: When someone says, "I don't know," it's a perfect chance to explore options and clarify what you really want. It's about leaning into curiosity instead of backing away.

• Risk of Stagnation: But saying "I don't know" and leaving it at that? That's like slamming the door shut on finding out. It stops the conversation and, more importantly, the thought process. It's a form of neutrality that keeps you stuck.

Here's why staying neutral can really trip you up:

1. It's a Missed Opportunity: Choosing not to choose is a choice in itself. When you stay neutral, especially in important life decisions, you miss out on steering your life in the direction that actually fits your true needs and desires.

2. Lack of Ownership: Staying neutral often means you’re not taking responsibility for the outcomes in your life. It's easier to say "I didn't choose this" when things don't pan out, but is that really the truth? Or is it just avoiding the responsibility of being responsible for making a choice?

3. You Might Just Stand Still: Think about it—if you never make up your mind, you never move forward. And in a way, you're moving backward because the world isn't waiting for you to decide. Life keeps going, and if you're not careful, it can pass you right by.

So, what can you do instead of camping out in "I don't know"?

• Ask More Questions: Get curious. Why are you unsure? What information do you need to make a decision? Digging a little deeper reveals what you’re actually feeling or thinking.

• Weigh the Options: What’s the worst that could happen if you choose one option over another?

• Take a Small Step: Even if you're not ready to make a big decision, take a small step in one direction. It can give you the momentum and insight needed to take on bigger decisions later.

Navigating the Myth of Neutrality: Understanding the Void

Neutrality appears as a safe zone, a void where conflict can’t be reached. Nature teaches us —voids do not exist; every space must be filled.

Look in an ordinary garden, where what we call "weeds" are actually just opportunistic plants. These plants aren’t nuisances; they're nature’s way of closing the gaps.

This is why the best gardeners use a thick layer of mulch: to protect the garden and to make sure only the seeds they’ve planted thrive, keeping all others from growing and taking up space in their garden.

Neutrality is just a "space in between," a transient state that cannot be maintained because nature—or circumstances—will push you towards the path of least resistance.

Those promoting a dystopia of "neutrality and acceptance" want you to overlook the fact that this leaves you vulnerable to external influences that plan to fill your voids with their agendas.

I’m not a fan of war (is anyone sane really?) and I don’t know much war history but we’re told that Switzerland was neutral during WW2.

But I would say contrary to popular belief, Switzerland was not neutral; they actively chose their own national interests.

They opted to focus on their own agenda.

This wasn't neutrality (right or wrong) but a strategic decision.

Neutrality, as it's commonly understood, is a misconception. Just because a nation or an individual doesn’t pick a side presented by others doesn’t mean they don’t have an opinion or direction.

Neutrality is not an absence of choice but a temporary space between decisions that cannot sustain itself.

Accepting neutrality as a permanent state opens you up to external influences and potential manipulation.

Neutrality is not abstaining from decision-making but about making a conscious choice independent of external pressures.

It’s about understanding that every void will be filled and ensuring that it is filled by your choices, not by the will of others.

Every decision shapes your path.

Don’t let "I don't know" be a full stop. Instead, make it a comma that leads to more discovery, understanding, and eventually, a clearer path forward.

When you stand back and decide not to decide, you're quietly saying yes to whatever is happening around you. If someone decides to change the rules, and you're just there being neutral, you’re agreeing to those new rules by doing nothing.

• Missing Out: While you’re sitting on the fence, life’s big decisions are being made without you. You miss the chance to stand up for what you believe in, or push for something better.

• Influence Fades: Think about it—if you never pick a lane, why would people consider your thoughts when decisions come up? By staying neutral, you might just fade into the background.

Being neutral is saying, "I'll just go wherever the wind blows." Don’t complain when the wind starts blowing somewhere you don't want to go.

The Danger Zone of Passive Living

• When you choose not to decide, you’re not preserving your options—you’re losing them.

• Abstaining from action is a choice too. And often, it’s a choice to allow things you might not stand for if you had made a choice.

Take a Stand, Make a Difference

• Clarify Your Values: Understanding what you stand for is about deep self-awareness. What matters to you? What are your non-negotiables?

• Embrace the Discomfort: Yes, taking a stand can be uncomfortable. It can mean tough conversations and tougher goodbyes. But the growth, the authenticity of living true to your convictions, is worth it.

Your Action Plan: Moving From Neutral to Engaged

• Assess Your Current Stance: Are you idling in neutrality because you're afraid of making a wrong turn? Or is it a temporary pause as you gather strength?

• Define Your Direction: What do you want? Not what’s easiest, not what’s expected of you. What drives you? Align your actions with this vision.

• Commit to Change: Start small. Make one decision today that reflects your true beliefs and watch how it propels you forward.

The Age of 'Forced Acceptance' and the Myth of Neutrality

In today’s world, there’s a strong push toward what some call the "age of acceptance," where the norm dictates that we should tolerate everything and everyone, regardless of how outright ridiculous.

This seems like an evolution towards a more open and inclusive society, but it shoves you into a space of neutrality that isn’t just unnatural—it’s harmful.

Understanding the Dangers of False Neutrality:

• Nature’s Lesson: Neutrality, in the true sense, does not exist in nature. You are always moving towards growth or decay; there is no static existence.

• Neutrality is a Facade: When society pressures you to remain neutral, it’s not asking you to stand aside but to quietly align with a set of beliefs that may not be your own. This masked conformity nudges you towards accepting the dominant thought, whatever that may be.

• Consequences of Complacency: By accepting everything at face value without questioning or understanding its impact on your personal philosophy, you risk losing your sense of self. You become more susceptible to manipulation and less likely to lead a fulfilling, self-directed life.

The Myth of Complete Acceptance:

• Acceptance does not mean agreement. Recognizing a bias or a different lifestyle does not require you to adopt it as your own. True acceptance should empower diversity, not dilute convictions.

• The danger in blind acceptance is its ability to dilute strong beliefs and morals. What begins as a well-meaning attempt to be inclusive leads you to accept inaccuracies and lies as truths, for the sake of peace or conformity.

The Subtlety of Choice: What Lies Behind 'I Don't Want to Choose Sides'

When someone says, "I don't want to choose sides," what they’re really saying is, "I don't want to be involved in your issues." This is seen as a softer, more diplomatic way to maintain peace.

But notice how many people hate this type of response.

They don’t just want you to choose; they want you to choose their side.

If your choice naturally aligns with theirs, go for it.

But understand that you are not adopting their choice—your decision is still your own.

It just happens to overlap with theirs in this instance. It’s a guarantee that in other situations, even those closely related, you’ll find yourself in disagreement.

Even when it seems you're standing with someone, you are standing for your reasons.

This isn’t about taking a side because it’s expected or demanded, but because it resonates with your personal values and perspectives.

Call to Action:

• Reevaluate Your Neutrality: Take a moment to consider where you might be 'sitting on the fence' and ask yourself if it's truly where you want to be.

• Embrace Decision-Making: Start small. Make one deliberate choice today about something you've been neutral on. Notice how it feels to take a stand.

• Educate Yourself: The more informed you are, the better your choices. Dive deep into topics you've remained neutral on and decide where you truly stand. You can always change your mind as you evolve and see a new way of life.