It's Enough With Good Enough

Let me take you back to my childhood in a cozy apartment building in Brooklyn, where I grew up with my sisters and my four girl cousins. We were more than family; we were partners in creation, living on the same floor, our lives intertwining like the notes of the hip-hop beats that defined our era. Our resources were limited, but our imaginations? Boundless.

Our afternoons transformed into a canvas of creativity. Homework was just the opening act to what really mattered - our home shows. To us, these weren’t just child’s play; they were translations of how we experienced life from church to music videos and the cultural blend in the streets of our neighborhood. We might not have been “THE” best by professional standards, but oh, did we strive to be our best.

Our living room became our stage, rehearsals filled with laughter, sweat, tears and demands. Sure our audience only consisted of our parents and a few aunts and uncles but that didn’t lower our fierce dedication, if anything it was the reason for it.

Now sitting in an overpriced event hall, watching my kids and their peers perform, the huge contrast between my childhood and theirs couldn't be clearer. Back in the day, 'getting great' was our aim. Now, it seems like 'just getting through it' is enough. Watching these kids on stage, you can tell they're just going through the motions, no real fire or effort behind their moves.

I remember how, just once a week practice with their teacher was far from sufficient. That's why I opened up my home for extra rehearsals, inviting the entire dance class. But not surprisingly – less than a handful came over. Their performances? They reflect it: lackluster, more about showing up than showing off. It's more than just a little disheartening to witness. It’s painful.

But here’s what really gets to me – this trend of celebrating mediocrity. Teachers doled out trophies and parents showered kids with gigantic bouquets for merely stepping on stage. I literally heard many parents say “I’m just so glad they got on stage!” Come on, just showing up is the bare minimum! We wouldn’t applaud a musician for just holding a guitar on stage, would we?

Let's talk real for a moment. This culture of "good enough" – it's setting our kids up for some harsh realities down the line. Imagine a generation thinking 'just enough' is enough. Where's the drive? The ambition? The hunger for more?

I’m taking this issue head-on in this newsletter. From a mom who lived and breathed creating and perfecting our craft in a Brooklyn apartment to now, where it seems passion and hard work have taken a backseat. We need to address this trend and its consequences.

In a world where 'just enough' is often celebrated, we're risking a lot more than we realize. This isn't just about dance recitals or school plays; it's about the message we're sending to the next generation. Are we telling them it's okay to coast, to not put in the effort?

It's high time we looked at the real consequences of this mindset. Because believe me, these seemingly small moments on stage are reflective of a much bigger picture – how we're shaping the attitudes, the very essence of our future adults.

Here’s what a 'just enough' attitude leads to:

• Stunted Passion Development: Kids just going through the motions miss out on finding their true callings. No fire, no discovery, no future trailblazers.

• Mediocrity as the New Normal: Constant praise for minimal effort can program kids to settle for less. What happened to pushing the envelope?

• Untapped Potential: Without a drive to excel, a whole lot of talent and possibility remain dormant. We’re talking about future leaders, innovators, creators here.

• Fear of Failure: This ‘participation trophy’ culture? It's breeding a fear of trying and failing. The real world doesn’t hand out medals for showing up.

• Lack of Resilience: Life’s tough. Without being pushed to their limits, kids won’t develop the resilience they need to face life's challenges.

• Diminished Self-Worth: Here's the irony – all this praise for doing the bare minimum can actually harm their self-esteem in the long run.

• Ill-Equipped for Reality: We're not doing our kids any favors. In the real world, it’s effort, skill, and determination that count.

It's time we took a hard look at this issue. Let’s dive deep into why striving for greatness matters – for our kids, for their future, and for a world that desperately needs more than just 'good enough.'

But let me be clear it's not just in our youth; it’s just “perfected” here. This trend permeates our society. Everywhere, there's a hack for this, a shortcut for that. We're in an era where productivity is often celebrated over purpose, where the journey's richness is overshadowed by the rush to reach the destination. It's a world more concerned with how much we do, rather than how well we do it. And sadly, our children are mirroring this mindset.

- Education: A study by the National Center for Education Statistics showed a sizable increase in graduation rates but a decline in college readiness, indicating a focus on completing degrees rather than mastering the learning journey.

- Business: A Harvard Business Review article revealed that while productivity in companies has risen, innovation and quality often suffer, suggesting a quantity-over-quality approach.

In this edition, we'll uncover the hidden costs of this 'productivity over purpose' mindset and rediscover the power of striving for greatness.

Redefining Standards: The Contrast Between Aspiration and Acceptance

In our world, we're facing a shocking contrast: we chase excellence in some areas but readily accept mediocrity in others. It's like we're living in two different realities. We stand in awe of technological marvels and medical miracles, where only the best is good enough. But then, we shift gears and suddenly, it's okay if standards slide in crucial aspects of our society like education, leadership, or parenting. Why this divide?

Goals: Comfortable, But Not Enough

We've become obsessed with goals. They're concrete, achievable, something to show off. But let's be real: greatness isn't about ticking off boxes. Goals might offer a sense of completion, but greatness? It's about igniting change, pushing the boundaries of what's possible. It's the heartbeat of progress and the essence of real achievement.

Nature’s Ruthless Efficiency: A Model of Greatness

Nature doesn't do mediocrity. In the wilderness, only the strong survive. Plants and animals don't get participation trophies; they adapt, they evolve, or they perish. This harsh, unyielding pursuit of excellence is nature's way – a relentless drive towards perfection and strength.

Greatness vs. Goals: Understanding the Difference

• Greatness: This is about relentless excellence. It's a dynamic, ever-evolving process, not just an endpoint. Greatness elevates, inspires, and transforms. It's about making a lasting impact.

• Goals: These are important milestones, yes, but they're not the final destination. They provide direction, but greatness is the journey – a continuous, unyielding march towards something extraordinary.

Mindset Matters: Cultivating an Attitude for Greatness

Your mindset is the foundation of your journey towards greatness. It's not just about the final applause but the fire that drives you every step of the way. This mindset transcends mere perseverance; it embodies:

• Self-Reflection: Constantly evaluating and re-evaluating your progress, strengths, and areas for growth.

• Lifelong Learning: Embracing new knowledge and experiences as essential tools for growth.

• Comfort Zone Challenges: Finding greatness means stepping into the unknown and embracing it.

• Self-Critique: Just like our days perfecting routines in Brooklyn, it's not about the audience but the internal drive to excel, to hit that perfect note of excellence.

We're not just talking about reaching goals. We're discussing shaping a life, a society that thrives on excellence, not just getting by. This mindset isn't about easy wins; it's about meaningful victories – the kind that leaves a lasting impact.

From Basic Literacy to Literary Mastery: A Journey of Greatness

Remember the days when reading was a luxury, not a given? There were places across the globe where teaching a whole nation to read seemed like a monumental task. And the rewards? Massive. Achieving literacy was a game-changer, but it was just the starting line, not the finish.

The Power of Literacy:

• Empowering Societies: Literacy turns people into active, informed participants in society.

• Driving Economic Growth: A nation of readers fuels economic development and ignites innovation.

• Expanding Cultural Horizons: Reading opens doors to diverse cultures and perspectives.

But now, what happens when most folks can read? The story doesn't end there.

• Beyond Basic Reading: It's not enough to just read; it's about engaging with material that inspires and transforms.

• Literary Excellence: We're talking about a shift from just being literate to becoming discerning readers and thinkers.

Reading evolves from a simple skill to a powerful tool for deep thinking and exploration.

The True Essence of Literary Greatness:

• Reading as Transformation: It's no longer about decoding words; it's about how reading changes your perspective and understanding.

• Critical Engagement: Greatness lies in engaging with texts that challenge and expand your mind.

• Continuous Growth: The journey from literacy to literary mastery is about never stopping at 'good enough' – it's an ongoing quest for knowledge and insight.

Kaja's Journey: From Hesitant Reader to Purposeful Participant

Teaching my daughters to read, specifically my eldest Kaja, who was seven at the time, was a real trip. It wasn't just challenging; it was a tug-of-war. Kaja wasn't just uninterested in reading – she was against it, seeing no real purpose in it.

But then, everything changed. She joined an after-school theater group, and on day one, she got a script. A friend, knowing she was homeschooled, said, "Oh, don't bother, she can't read she doesn’t go to school." Kaja was instantly humiliated.

The Moment of Change:

A Painful Wake-up Call: Kaja’s embarrassment at her theater group was a turning point. Being homeschooled, she was teased for not being able to read a script.

From Humiliation to Determination: The sting of that moment lit a fire in her.

• Transformative Moment: Kaja, with her incredible memory, had learned her lines by ear by the second class. But she wanted more – she realized that hiding behind what she was good at was not good enough. She wanted to read along with her peers. Suddenly, reading wasn't just a goal; it was her key to not just shining in that class, but also pulling her weight and being a valued team member.

• The Push Beyond Comfort: That burn of embarrassment and challenge pushed her to break out of her comfort zone. She didn’t just learn to read; she learned to excel, and it was obvious how good she felt about it.

Kaja's journey is more than just learning to read. It's a powerful illustration of how the 'good enough' mindset can hold us back and how breaking free from it can transform our lives. Here’s what we can learn:

Stagnation in Comfort Zones: When you settle for 'good enough,' you essentially stop pushing yourself. You stay in your comfort zones, where you can’t grow, and your potential can be tapped into.

The Easy Route's Hidden Costs: Settling for shortcuts or the path of least resistance might seem like a good idea, but robs you of true fulfillment. You can’t replace the feeling of satisfaction from going all in and overcoming challenges. It’s what keeps athletes in the race.

• Consequences of 'Good Enough':

  • Personal Growth: When you avoid personal development, by not striving for your best, you miss out on discovering new talents or deepening existing skills.

  • Innovation and Creativity: A ‘good enough’ mindset stifles creativity and innovation. Without the drive to push boundaries, new ideas and solutions can’t be discovered.

  • Impact on Relationships: This mindset will spill over into your relationships, leading to mediocrity in how you connect and engage with others. Leading others to leave you behind.

  • Career and Professional Life: In the workplace, settling for 'good enough' will limit your career growth and opportunities. You will stand out as “the first to be cut”.

Kaja's transformation teaches us that greatness begins with stepping out of our comfort zones. It's about embracing challenges as opportunities to grow and learn, not just obstacles to avoid. It’s a reminder that true fulfillment and growth lie in pushing beyond the 'good enough' to discover our true capabilities and passions.

Goals vs. Greatness - Striving for Relevance and Continual Growth

Kaja and Kamilla's Learning Paths: More Than Just Ticking Boxes

When I was teaching my daughters to read, their learning paths opened my eyes to the difference between just hitting goals and really pursuing greatness.

Kamilla, my younger one at five, was all in. Our dining room whiteboard was her world. Beyond the morning lesson, I would catch her throughout the day going over the lesson on her own. Her goal? To keep up with her older sister.

This drive got her reading fast, ticking off her goal like a pro. But after reaching this milestone, her progress just leveled out. She could wow folks at restaurants with her menu reading, and she’d read a picture book here and there but that's where she leveled out, happy with her achievement. Which of course is totally fine at 5 years old.

Then there’s Kaja. After she overcame her initial resistance, she went “all in” to the world of books. Reading shifted from a task to a passion, opening doors to endless adventures. By nine, she'd breezed through the entire Harry Potter series, the screenplay and all.

When we started traveling full-time, when she was 8 years old, we had to get Amazon Kindle Unlimited and an additional Kindle just to keep up with her need to read. Forget about exploring new countries her favorite journeys were in the pages of books.

Reading led to her love for writing and eventually, she’d write and publish her first book shortly after her 13th birthday. Which led to singing and songwriting and shortly after her 14th birthday she recorded her first album.

Kaja and Kamilla's Lessons:

• Short Goals vs. Lifelong Greatness: Kamilla's story is typical of goal-oriented approaches – hit the target, then stop. Kaja’s experience, however, embodies true greatness – a never-ending quest for knowledge and personal expansion.

• External vs. Internal Motivation: Kamilla found joy in external applause. But Kaja was driven by a deeper, internal passion, seeking stories and experiences beyond her immediate world.

The Essence of Relevance and Ongoing Striving

• Greatness Needs Meaning: Being great at something isn’t enough. That greatness should resonate with and enrich your life. Without this connection, even big achievements won’t fill you up.

• Beyond Collecting Goals: It’s extremely important to avoid treating goals as trophies to be collected. True greatness is an active, ongoing process of learning, growing, and making a difference.

Greatness isn’t just about what you achieve; it’s about how those achievements become a part of your life and growth.

It’s about looking beyond the checklist and finding the deeper meaning in every step you take.

Bridging Greatness into Daily Life

You've heard my stories, and seen the contrast between just achieving and truly excelling. Now, let's talk about how you can bring this ethos of greatness into your everyday life. It's not just about setting goals; it's about how those goals resonate with who you are and who you want to be.

1. Set Goals with Soul: Your goals should be more than just to-do list items. They need to align with what sets your soul on fire, with your deepest values and passions. Think of them as milestones on your journey to greatness, not just end-points.

2. Challenges as Stepping Stones: When obstacles pop up, and they will; see them as opportunities to grow, to stretch beyond your current boundaries. It’s these challenges that often push us to heights we didn’t even know we could reach.

3. Reflect and Pivot: Take a beat regularly to look back at your journey. How far have you come? What have you learned about yourself? This reflection is crucial for adapting and grooming your path of greatness.

4. Celebrate But Don’t Push It: Remember, while it's great to take pride in your achievements, don't let success cloud your judgment or slow your drive. Keep the fire of ambition burning by using each success as a stepping stone, not a stopping point.

5. Joy in the Journey: Find happiness in the process, not just in the destination. This internal motivation is what will keep you going, even when the going gets tough.

Navigating the Hurdles on the Road to Greatness

On this path, you're going to hit some bumps. Be mindful of these common challenges:

• The Pressure Cooker: Just like our intense rehearsals in Brooklyn, setting high standards for yourself is good, but don't let it turn into overwhelming pressure. Balance is key.

• Facing Fear of Failure: Don't let the fear of falling short stop you from trying. Remember, every effort, every trial, is a step closer to your ultimate goal.

• Keeping Burnout at Bay: Constantly striving for more can be exhausting. Listen to your body, to your heart. Know when it’s time to rest and recharge.

• Your Journey, Your Pace: Avoid comparing your path to others’. Your journey towards greatness is yours alone – unique and incomparable.

Let’s Reflect:

How can you integrate these steps into your life? How can they guide you toward the greatness you're striving for?

Remember, greatness isn't a destination; it's a way of traveling through life. It's about making every step count, every decision resonates with who you are and who you're becoming. Let's walk this path together, aiming above “good enough” that only ends up “good for nothing.” Strive for meaning and value striving that really feels “great.”

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