Why Giving Up Will Get You More

You're familiar with Lent, right? Those 40 days leading up to Easter where people traditionally give up something they enjoy as a form of sacrifice.

But as I'm soaking in the atmosphere and listening to the buzz, I can't help but ask—what are we truly giving up, and more importantly, why?

Here in Mexico, my Spanish teacher shared that, for Lent, many try to cut out pork from their daily diets, which, between you and me, is no small act given it's practically a staple at every meal.

And globally, it's the same old story: skipping chocolate, swearing off wine, or taking a break from the endless scroll of screens. But is temporarily letting go of these comforts truly what Lent's essence is about?

You pick something you're likely too attached to, swear it off for a while, all the while, if you're being honest, you're marking off the days on your calendar until you can welcome it back with open arms.

What's this really achieving? Is this genuine sacrifice, or are you just playing a sophisticated game of compromise and self-denial, dressing it up in the noble garments of sacrifice?

Around the world, there exist rituals and traditions, like Lent, that present us with a golden opportunity to dive deep into our inner selves, to practice restraint, and to engage in true sacrifice.

Yet, what real value does abstaining hold if it lacks true meaning to us, especially when we plan to eagerly return to it, unchanged and untransformed?

And not only do we often choose to give up things that hardly add any real value to our lives, but we also pick vices we know deep down are pulling us backward, all with the plan of diving right back into them once the "sacrifice" period is over.

What kind of plan is that?

This mix-up between sacrifice and compromise isn't just semantics; it’s touching not just on our personal growth but how we perceive and navigate our lives.

It's become clear that what many of us consider sacrifice is actually a compromise in disguise.

So, I want to break down the distinction between what we see as sacrifice versus the reality of compromise. I’m going to look beyond the surface, to question whether we're truly making sacrifices that matter or simply settling for convenient compromises.

We're about to unravel the deeper meaning of true sacrifice and why it might just be the most impactful ritual you've never truly engaged in. Let's dive into this in this week's newsletter.

From Family Traditions to Personal Choices:

It's interesting how the very thing some Mexicans are "giving up" as a sacrifice during Lent is the very thing my Black American ancestors had to consume as a compromise—a part of a larger sacrifice for survival. Food is more than sustenance; it's a narrative of culture, history, and the lessons weaved within the flavors we taste.

The Clove Technique: A Lesson in Survival and Sacrifice

Growing up, I wasn’t vegan then but pork wasn’t just one of those things that was “off the table” it was absolutely “off limits” in my household. This wasn't a just dietary choice; it was a deeper acknowledgment of a historical understanding within the Black community about health, survival, and resistance.

Many Black Americans, dealing with the horrors of slavery and oppression, were forced into compromising every aspect of their lives which included our diets. But, in these moments of forced compromise, some of our ancestors did amazing things that were full of intent to “make good” on the worst unimaginable conditions, taking back a little agency over their lives.

Some of the foods we now celebrate as "Soul Food" were born out of necessity and a deep understanding of safety and survival. Eating pork wasn't a natural choice for many of us, much like Mexicans, it was not native to our diet.

In the grim reality of slavery, my ancestors were often left little choice, as far as they could see, and had to eat pork.

But within this compromise a decision was made out of resistance and wisdom —They mostly ate pork using the clove technique.

Why the Clove Technique?

This ingenious method wasn't about adding flavor or just decoration. Aware of the health risks associated with consuming pork, an animal known to be riddled with parasites and disease, they used this survival strategy.

Cloves, with their antiparasitic properties, were pressed into the meat. This wasn't for aesthetics; it was a calculated plan to draw out the worms, making the pork safer for consumption. Through this, what many might now see as a culinary tradition is, in fact, a deep-seated legacy of compromise, survival, and sacrifice.

Understanding the Necessity of Compromise:

• Compromise as Survival: The use of cloves in pork by my ancestors was a necessity for survival, not just a choice. This act of compromise, carried out with ingenuity and care, transformed a potential health hazard into something marginally safer under the circumstances.

• Grace in Compromise: Recognizing when to compromise embodies a form of grace. It's about making peace with the present while looking toward the future, opting for the safest, smartest choice available, even if far from ideal.

The Larger Framework of Sacrifice:

• Temporary Compromise, Permanent Vision: Such compromises, like the clove technique for pork safety, served as temporary solutions within a broader vision of survival and resilience. It was about immediate safety but also the long-term survival of a people.

• Sacrifice Within Compromise: The true sacrifice wasn’t merely in consuming pork; it was in the labor and intention behind making it safer to eat. True sacrifice is found in the reasons behind our choices and how we implement them, even when they involve compromise.

Gracefully Navigating Compromise:

• Informed Decisions: Making compromises with a full understanding of your circumstances and the potential outcomes is essential. It's about being informed, thoughtful, and intentional.

• Keeping the End Goal in Sight: Even in the presence of compromise, it's so important to keep your broader goals and values in focus. Every decision, every compromise, should advance you toward your ultimate objectives.

• The Role of Community: As a parent, I’m aware that with any compromise, I have to consider its impact on my family. So striving for solutions that not only meet my immediate needs but also serve the greater good of my family is always taken into consideration.

Compromise, seen this way, is not just about making do.

It's about leveraging what you have at your disposal to protect and enhance life. Just like the clove technique, navigating life’s challenges with grace and wisdom involves making the best out of our circumstances, transforming potential dangers into opportunities.

Compromise vs. Sacrifice: Clarifying the Distinction

So, what then is the difference between "compromise" and "sacrifice"? Compromise often involves giving in or settling for less, usually under pressure or due to limitations. Sacrifice, however, is a conscious choice to give up something good for something even greater, driven by a clear purpose or goal.

• Compromise as a Short-term Solution: It's sometimes necessary but should be approached with caution, ensuring it doesn't lead us away from our ultimate goals.

• Sacrifice as a Path to Fulfillment: True sacrifice is about long-term gain. It's a deliberate act that aligns with our deepest values and aspirations, often requiring us to overcome immediate discomfort for a greater purpose.

Utilizing Compromise Wisely

If compromise is to be used at all, it should be:

• Strategic and Temporary: Employed as a tactical, short-term measure without losing sight of the larger vision.

• Informed and Intentional: Made with a full understanding of its implications and how it fits within the broader context of our goals and values.

Reflecting on modern Lenten practices and the sacrifices made by our ancestors reminds me of the differences between true sacrifice and simple compromise.

• True sacrifice involves deeper transformation and a lasting commitment

• whereas compromise, though sometimes necessary, often serves as a temporary fix.

• Recognizing this distinction is needed if you’re aiming to lead a life marked by purpose, integrity, and legacy.

Once upon a time, in my world where I began to question the phrase "doctor knows best" I found myself at a crossroads.

My journey from unquestionable reliance on conventional medicine to a life where this dependency is a distant memory wasn't just a change in habit; it was one of the biggest sacrifices of my life.

But let me tell you, it wasn't easy.

Society has a way of boxing you into a corner with its norms and expectations. The pressure to conform, to nod along and agree that "doctor knows best," was more than just a nudge; it was a shove down a one-way road.

The hardest part? Taking that first step away from that path, a path walked by most who believe there's no other way.

It was SCARY, stepping into the unknown, choosing not to compromise my and my family's health to the hands of strangers—well-meaning professionals who, despite their expertise, couldn't possibly know my body or my children's as I do and nor should they for most things we deal with in health.

The Pivot to Proactive Health

There was this moment when it hit me—I was more focused on dodging sickness than actually nurturing my health. I was gambling, compromising the well-being of my family and myself on the roulette wheel of hope. Transitioning from this mindset wasn't just challenging; it was revolutionary.

In the process of reshaping my life, my focus had shifted from avoiding illness to actively cultivating health. This transformation required stepping away from the conventional healthcare system, a move that was met with skepticism and criticism.

Facing Fears and Embracing Sacrifice

• Social Judgment: Venturing into less conventional health practices, such as blood analysis, homeopathy, and naturopathy, instead of renewing health insurance, invited skepticism and outright criticism. This path, less traveled and understood, often led to being labeled naive or even reckless.

• Initial Fears: The early stages of this journey were filled with uncertainty. Moving away from the safety net of medical intervention meant every health decision was a step into the unknown.

• The Learning Curve: Adopting a proactive approach to health wasn't just about choosing natural remedies; it involved a deep dive into understanding the body's healing capabilities and how to support them daily.

• Investment of Time, Money, and Energy: Embracing this new lifestyle demanded significant investment—not just financial, but also in terms of time and energy dedicated to learning, experimenting, and sometimes facing setbacks.

The Essence of True Sacrifice

This journey, challenging as it was, taught me invaluable lessons about the nature of sacrifice versus compromise:

• Understanding My Body: The path led me to a deep understanding of my body's needs and signals, empowering me with knowledge far beyond the passive waiting for medical diagnoses.

• Real Security in Knowledge: The security I've found in my proactive health practices and knowledge has proven to be way more valuable than what any health insurance policy could offer.

• The Power of Natural Wellness: My exploration into natural health not only kept my family and me healthier but also instilled a deep appreciation for the body's innate healing potential.

More than a decade into this journey, the rewards are evident. My family, including my daughters, enjoy a level of health and self-reliance that surpasses anything I had imagined. This path has not only transformed our health but also our entire way of living. It was the precursor to homeschooling, location independence, and a plant-based lifestyle. It was a revolution, not just a lifestyle change, marked by true sacrifice rather than simple compromise.

My shift towards a proactive health lifestyle, stepping away from conventional healthcare, was my Lenten moment. But it wasn't just for 40 days. I knew there was no turning back; this was a lifelong sacrifice I needed to make.

So, how did I make sure this change was for keeps? Let me break it down for you:

1. Education First: I dove headfirst into learning everything I could about natural health and preventive care. Books, articles, health conferences—you name it, I was there. Knowledge was my foundation.

2. Community Support: Finding like-minded folks was a game-changer. Whether it was online forums, local groups, or just a neighbor down the street who shared my passion for natural wellness, building a support network kept me motivated and on track.

3. Small, Sustainable Changes: I started with manageable adjustments. Swapping out processed foods for whole ones, introducing one herbal remedy at a time, and gradually reducing our dependence on conventional medicine made the transition smoother and more sustainable.

4. Reflection and Adjustment: This wasn't about setting it and forgetting it. I constantly reflected on our progress, celebrated the wins, and tweaked our approach as needed. It was and still is a process of continuous improvement.

5. Commitment to the Cause: Above all, I committed wholeheartedly to this path. It wasn't about a temporary sacrifice but a permanent shift in how we live and view health. This was about engraving a new philosophy into the fabric of our lives.

Because, let me tell you, compromises can never replace sacrifice. Knowing that this wasn't just a 40-day trial but a lifelong change made all the difference. It was about setting a new standard for how we approach health, not just for me but for my family too. This journey has been about so much more than just avoiding sickness; it's been about embracing life to the fullest, with all its ups and downs, and thriving on our own terms.

The True Meaning of Sacrifice

Consider you're at a crossroads in your career: one path leads to a job that's safe and familiar but ultimately unfulfilling; the other to a role that challenges you, aligns with your passion, but comes with uncertainty. Sacrifice is choosing to leave behind the comfort of the known, embracing the risk for the promise of more meaningful work. It's about forgoing immediate security for the potential of personal fulfillment and growth.

Compromise, on the other hand, happens when you cling to that familiar job, convincing yourself it's "good enough," despite it stifling your growth. It's settling for the comfort of the present, even when it doesn't align with your aspirations or values.

Sacrifice in Modern Life

Let's think about the lifestyle choices many of us make, often mistaking temporary abstinence for genuine sacrifice. Giving up coffee, social media, or sweets for Lent might feel like a sacrifice, but if the intention is merely to resume these habits without reflection or growth, we've missed the essence of sacrifice. It becomes a hollow gesture, not a step towards personal evolution.

True sacrifice is not about the absence but the presence—what we gain in place of what we let go of. It's not the coffee or the sweets we give up that define our sacrifice; it's what we choose to fill those spaces with. Whether it's deeper connections, personal health, or spiritual growth, true sacrifice enriches our lives in meaningful ways.

Making Real Sacrifices

To enact real, transformative sacrifice in our lives, consider the following steps:

Identify What Truly Matters: Reflect deeply on your values and what brings you genuine joy and fulfillment. Is it cultivating closer relationships, advancing in your career, or improving your health and well-being?

Evaluate Your Current Choices: Examine the habits and routines that occupy your time and energy. Which of these are just filling space without adding value? Is binge-watching series or mindlessly scrolling through social media eating into time that could be spent on more enriching activities?

Commit to Change: Decide to let go of those low-value activities to make room for what truly matters. This might mean setting stricter boundaries around work to spend time with family, dedicating time each day to learn a new skill, or choosing healthier lifestyle habits.

Embrace the Challenge: Recognize that real change is seldom easy. There will be moments of doubt and temptation to revert to old ways. However, the essence of sacrifice lies in overcoming these challenges, propelled by the vision of a more fulfilling life.

Reap the Rewards: True sacrifice leads to real growth. Whether it's stronger relationships, personal achievement, or a healthier lifestyle, the benefits of true sacrifice extend far beyond the initial act of giving something up.

Sacrifice demands more from you than temporary abstinence; it asks for a recalibration of your life in alignment with your deepest values. Unlike the superficial compromises that leave you longing for what you’ve left behind, true sacrifice propels you towards a richer, more authentic existence. It's about making intentional choices that reflect not just who you are, but who we aspire to be.