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The thing about the Lying Game
Why Truth Is Scary And Lies Feel Safe
The Power of Words: Use Them Wisely
You can't lie your way out with words, laws, and legislation. That's not how truth is won over. Truth is absolute and needs no manipulation to make it so.
When people use words to replace truth and hide behind them, it’s dangerous. Anyone willing to create a mass campaign of lies (think of any politician, ANY doesn’t matter the party—red, blue, purple, or green) has serious problems they don’t want to deal with or you to know about.
You can turn off the TV when it’s a politician, but when it’s in your home, you better tune in deeply and get to the bottom of the lies and the source of the pain trying to use them.
People lie for one thing:
Protection.
A Few Reasons Why People Lie for Protection
Avoiding Consequences:
People lie to escape the consequences of their actions, thinking it's easier than facing the truth.
Preserving Self-Image:
Lies can protect one's self-esteem (low self-esteem) and public image, especially when the truth is damaging to the persona they created.
Fear of Rejection:
Fear of losing relationships or being judged harshly can lead people to lie.
Later on I’m exposing The 7 Deadly Results of a society built on lies.
But first let me say to Parents and everyone caring for children, this is a call to action. Guard your home and watch the words being thrown around and finding their way into your home and used to cover lies and distortion coming into your children’s minds.
While I love words I know words have always been used throughout history to cover lies: "whites only" bathroom, "Negroes must sit at the back of the bus," "It's totally a law to own a slave; see here, it's written down in print, must be true." Saying a thing over and over, writing it down, manipulating words, and trying to force people to go along with the madness still makes it lies—only more ridiculous than if you had just kept it to yourself.
I remember growing up, my grandmother would use fun-sounding words for our "private parts." It was a sign of the times; some words were just not said out loud. So she'd say things like "go wash your monkey and your hynie." But while she used those playful terms, in almost every other way, she was strict about language.
She taught me that words have power and to use them correctly if I wanted to be respected. She was as right then as she is now. She would correct my English if I used a word in a grammatically incorrect way.
And you know what? I love words, maybe even because of her, requiring me to focus in on them so intently. It's why I'm a writer and a speaker. I love that we can use this huge plethora of words to describe what we are thinking, feeling, wanting, and needing.
Expressing Emotions and Ideas:
Words help us express complex emotions and ideas. They’re a powerful tool for connection and understanding.
Creating Connections:
With words, we share experiences and build connections, forming bonds through mutual understanding.
Empowerment:
Using the right words lets us clearly and confidently articulate our perspectives.
Legacy of Learning:
My grandmother’s lessons on the power of words are a cherished legacy, showing the beauty and responsibility of using language effectively.
Joy in Communication:
Expressing ourselves with a rich vocabulary brings joy and fulfillment, enhancing both personal and professional interactions.
Nowadays, however, words are being used as a free-for-all, creating a pileup of entitled people who think they can twist words to suit their needs and still expect to be respected and, funny enough, "understood." It's laughable the way words are thrown about, but what it's creating is no laughing matter.
Parents are even going along with the nonsense. "Oh, my child is a cat! And so, yes, said school, I need you to provide my child with kitty litter to relieve themselves with their other kitty friends." I wish I was making this up, but a friend's brother is going through this right now as a principal in a school where parents are advocating for their kitty kids and calling it a "human right." Interesting choice of words for your kitty cat kid. I thought they were “felines”? How on earth did they end up birthed by human parents?
Never mind the parents who are marching their children in for "reassignment surgery" because they were assigned the wrong body parts and misgendered at birth. Whaaaa the ????? It’s one thing for children to believe in fantasy (like the Easter Bunny and Santa which by the way are also lies told to them by parents and society for a good time) but when parents start perpetuating the lies your children are mesmerized by, now we have a whole other problem.
Why Children Are Susceptible to Lies
Brain Development:
Children’s brains are wired for fantasy and infinite possibilities, making it hard for them to discern truth from fiction.
Absorbing Information:
They absorb loads of information quickly, which is a gift. But when the information is manipulated, they can’t tell the difference.
Critical Thinking:
Kids aren’t yet able to critically evaluate information. They rely on adults to guide them in understanding what’s true.
When children are exposed to manipulated information, they struggle to sort through it all. They’re trying to make sense of what’s “right and wrong”, “good and bad”, and “boy or girl”. See where I’m going with this last one.
If the information they receive is hijacked by those with their own agendas, kids won’t be able to tell the truth from programmed lies. Even worse when they know the truth, they would have been given the go-ahead by society and parents going along with said nonsense to turn away from the truth and therefore turn away from their power. This is why some kids are now running away to California that passed a “law” saying kids can run away behind their parents’ back for “corrective surgery” and be placed in “homes that understand who they ‘really’ are. Don’t even get me started on this one.
But I think you can tell how I feel about this insanity.
7 Deadly Consequences On a Society Built on Lies:
Erosion of Trust:
When words replace truth, trust is eroded. People become skeptical and doubt the sincerity of others, leading to broken relationships and a lack of authentic connections.
Manipulation and Control:
Using words to distort truth allows for manipulation and control. This can lead to people being misled, exploited, and unable to make informed decisions.
Loss of Integrity:
Hiding behind false words diminishes personal integrity. It becomes harder to maintain self-respect and the respect of others when lies are used as a shield.
Perpetuation of Ignorance:
Lies and distortions perpetuate ignorance. When truth is obscured, people are deprived of the opportunity to learn, grow, and address real issues.
Increased Anxiety and Confusion:
Replacing truth with false narratives creates confusion and anxiety. People struggle to navigate reality when they can't rely on the accuracy of information.
Undermining of Accountability:
Avoiding truth to escape consequences undermines accountability. It allows harmful behaviors to continue unchecked, causing more damage in the long run.
Weakening of Society:
A society built on lies and distortions is weakened. Truth is the foundation of justice, progress, and cooperation; without it, society crumbles.
These days, there's such a misuse of words. I see a lot of people using words like "narcissist," "my tribe," "my trauma," "gaslighting," and all kinds of catchphrases. Words have meaning for a reason; we use them to communicate with each other, to understand and be understood. Many people use these words without really knowing what they mean, and also as a way to shut down conversation and evade responsibility for their lives. You lose your power when you do this.
Saying things like "my narcissist ex" usually just means "I was in a relationship with someone who did or said things I didn't like or understand, and I stayed too long and now I'm pissed he never changed."
Two weeks ago, a woman claimed that I didn't understand the word "privilege" when I told her my life was based on my choices and not privilege. She then decided to change her "word" and say, "When I say privileged, I mean blessed." Any half-decent dictionary will tell you these words have two completely different meanings. Also, both are still totally inappropriate for this discussion, because either way she wanted to believe the lies that “my life was handed to me and she has to ‘work’ for hers. Well, If that’s not a dirty pack of lies keeping her stuck in a bad ending, then what is?
If you want to be understood and not just try to use words to gain sympathy and prevent rebuttal, then you should describe what you have to say in plain language or really look up the words you're using to see if that's indeed the right word.
Moral and Ethical Decline:
Normalizing the replacement of truth with lies leads to moral and ethical decline. It sets a precedent that dishonesty is acceptable, eroding societal values.
Personal Growth Stagnation:
Hiding from the truth prevents personal growth. Facing hard truths is essential for overcoming challenges, learning, and becoming a stronger, more resilient individual.
Exacerbation of Problems:
Avoiding the truth often exacerbates the very problems one is trying to avoid. Addressing issues head-on is the only way to find real solutions and heal.
Embracing truth, no matter how difficult, is crucial for personal integrity, authentic relationships, and a healthy, functioning society.
I know we're in a day where a cat can suddenly be called a dog, a man suddenly be called a woman, and night suddenly be called day. But the thing about truth is, it's still sitting perfectly unharmed underneath all that B.S., waiting for you to stop the nonsense and accept the work you need to do to get beyond hiding and trying to force others to accept lies, so you feel good about them.
The sooner you step up to the challenge, you're halfway there.
The Challenge of Communication Across Languages
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend that could have easily ended in a breakup because of the use of words. Her native tongue is Spanish, and yes, I'm currently learning Spanish, but I am so grateful that her English far surpasses my Spanish, so we can communicate in English.
BUT that means when speaking English, I am responsible for making sure what I say is as clean and clear as possible if I want to be understood, and I'm usually good at this. Yet on this day, I was in a rush and responded to her about something she was encountering with many Russians she's in contact with now whose words are causing a lot of chaos because they "speak" differently—not so much in words but in how they use them—that other non-Russians aren't accustomed to.
I was actually responding in her favor, but when I saw her reply and looked at it from the angle of a Spanish speaker, I could see all my flaws and why she thought I was angry with her for how she expressed her issues.
Words have power.
Knowing I certainly didn't want my words to harm her or destroy our friendship, I had to not only explain how she misunderstood me but also take full blame because I rushed too soon to "get my words out and back to what I was doing" and just assumed she could fill in the blanks.
It was a half-witted way of communicating that could have caused damage if either of us weren't committed to upholding ourselves responsibly and respectfully when using our words.
With my new message, she could immediately see what I originally wanted her to understand, and all was restored. But all around us, there are people misspeaking and demanding to be understood and wondering why they aren’t.
Why Are People Doing This?
Fear of Vulnerability: People are afraid to expose their true feelings and thoughts, so they use convoluted language to protect themselves.
Avoiding Responsibility: It’s easier to blame others for misunderstandings than to take responsibility for unclear communication.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Many people aren't fully aware of their own thoughts and feelings, so they struggle to express themselves accurately.
Entitlement: There’s a growing sense of entitlement where people believe their words should be understood without effort, regardless of clarity.
Cultural Shifts: Rapid changes in societal norms and language use can lead to confusion and misuse of words as people try to keep up.
When people are called out, they often blame the other person for being insensitive for not being a mind reader and then demonize the other person for their incomplete, incorrect, and distorted communication. This behavior stems from:
Defensiveness: People don't like being wrong, so they become defensive and shift blame.
Fear of Judgment: Admitting to poor communication skills can feel like a personal failure, leading to defensiveness.
Desire for Control: By blaming others, they maintain a sense of control over the situation.
Insecurity: Insecure individuals may lash out when they feel misunderstood to protect their self-esteem.
Lack of Communication Skills: Many people lack the skills to communicate effectively and instead resort to blame and deflection.
To Sum It Up
Stop Misusing Words:
If you want clarity in your conversations, stop using terms like "narcissist" or "gaslighting" or my worst favorite “privileged” (which I need to do an entire newsletter on) without understanding them fully. Otherwise, expect misunderstandings and shallow interactions because your words don't match their true meanings.
Speak Clearly:
If you want to be understood and respected, use plain language that accurately reflects your experiences and feelings. Otherwise, you should expect people to doubt your sincerity and dismiss your points because you’re not communicating effectively.
Face the Truth:
If you want genuine progress in your life, stop redefining reality to make it easier to swallow, when it clearly doesn’t serve you or others. Otherwise, expect to remain stuck, because avoiding the truth only delays personal growth and resolution.
Embrace Accountability:
If you want to reclaim your power in life, take responsibility for your words and actions. Otherwise, expect to feel powerless and frustrated because you’re not addressing the root causes of your challenges.
By aligning our words with their true meanings, we not only enhance our communication but also pave the way for genuine understanding and growth.
The Challenge of Truth in a World of Words
We are energetic beings, and we can practically smell the lies that are being sprayed around. Some of us are so used to running on lies that anyone truly speaking the truth must be silenced because it poses a threat to the open lie. Words like "conspiracy theorist" get thrown around to label anything people refuse to look at.
Don't get me wrong—even as an accused "conspiracy theorist," and one that is not ashamed to say I’ve discovered lots down many rabbit holes I’ve traveled, I will admit that this goes too far as well.
But why? Because when people genuinely try to alert others to a potential issue that they don't want to face, they often fall into using lies and sensationalism to get attention.
And why?
Because lies get attention. Funny how this works.
This is what happens when, in society, "truth is stranger than fiction." But remember, as mammals—or kitty cats (joking)—we can always sense the truth. They call it a sixth sense, but really, it’s not that special. It was plugged in for us to use discernment.
Yes, my favorite word. We all have it, but some need to just put it back into practice so it goes back to "second nature," though it’s probably the first.
Closing Thoughts
Trust Your Instincts:
Our innate ability to sense truth is powerful. Trust your instincts and use discernment to navigate through lies.
Seek Clarity:
Aim for clarity in your words and in understanding others. Clear communication fosters trust and genuine connections.
Value Truth:
Hold truth in high regard, even when it’s uncomfortable. Embracing truth leads to growth and authentic living.
Avoid Sensationalism:
Be wary of sensationalism. Lies may get attention, but they distort reality and undermine trust.
Practice Discernment:
Regularly practice discernment. It’s a skill that needs to be honed to effectively distinguish truth from falsehood.
Stay Grounded:
In a world filled with misinformation, stay grounded. Keep a clear mind and don’t be swayed by every new claim or label.
Promote Honest Dialogue:
Encourage honest dialogue. Open conversations based on truth and understanding lead to better relationships and communities.
Embracing our ability to discern truth and using words responsibly can help us navigate a world where fiction often seems better than truth.