Walking Away is Winning

Over the course of nine months, my family grows— I now have two daughters, and I also have three "baby" books to my name. (sneak peek of the books at the end)

Last year, after crafting prayer journals and a memoir coloring book for mothers, I dove headfirst into a children's series that seemed to pour out of me overnight.

This creative burst led me to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could take on the world of illustration, too. After all, with AI technology becoming so accessible and my passion for innovation and learning, why not dive into illustrating these stories myself?

This choice started a big adventure that showed me it's not just about always doing things. Sometimes, you need to know when to take a step back or even when it's smart to walk away.

This journey took me from the excitement of creating to the hard work of learning new things, and finally, to the quiet and deep understanding that comes with taking a break.

Join me as we dive into this, starting with the buzz of writing, through the challenges of drawing, the choice to take a break, and finally seeing that real growth and new ideas often happen when we stop and take a breather.

The Leap into Illustration: A Test of Will and Skill

I can’t say AI was my first choice for illustrating the pictures for my book. Truthfully I hit this point where finding the right illustrator turned into a real headache. Everyone I purchased a trial illustration from just wasn't what I had in mind for my books.

So then, there's AI technology winking at me from the corner, looking all accessible and promising. I thought, "Hey, why not give it a shot myself?"

I mean, I'd managed to pull these stories out of thin air, so how hard could drawing them be, right? This was my first real dive into the deep end – the doing phase. I was all in, ready to tackle learning and creating head-first.

• Deciding to DIY: Faced with illustrator pains, I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was about more than just drawings; it was proving to myself I could do it.

• Eager to Innovate: The chance to mess around with AI and merge it with my own ideas? Couldn't resist. It was a perfect storm of creativity meets technology.

• First Steps and Stumbles: I quickly learned that enthusiasm doesn't translate to instant skill. Turns out, creating good art, even with AI's help, was going to be a whole new mountain to climb.

Jumping into illustration wasn't just about avoiding the hassle of finding an illustrator. It was about testing my limits, diving into the unknown, and seeing if I could come out the other side with something great. Little did I know, this journey would teach me as much about myself as it did about creating art.

The Struggle: Confronting the Creative Block

Hitting the books (and the screen) to learn illustration and AI was like signing up for a marathon I didn't train for. Every day, I buckled down, determined to make these tools bend to my will. But, damn, was I in for a reality check.

• Endless Effort: Day in, day out, I was glued to my computer. Learning to prompt AI, tweaking endless settings, and still, the images weren't cutting it. It felt like I was climbing a mountain that just kept growing.

• Technical Tangles: Getting AI to produce what I imagined was one thing. Learning graphic design on the fly? That was another beast entirely. It wasn't just about making art; it was about wrestling with software, formats, and design principles I'd never even heard of before.

• Hitting the Wall: There comes a moment when you realize the tank is empty. For me, it was a mix of frustration, fatigue, and the sinking feeling that maybe I'd bitten off more than I could chew. That relentless push, without a second to breathe, had me questioning if it was all worth it.

Even after throwing everything I had into mastering these new skills, I was faced with the truth of it, that, sometimes you just hit a wall. And when you do, pushing harder is making it worse.

Sometimes, the best move is to step away.

The Pause: Embracing Rest and Gaining Perspective

There came a point when I just couldn't stare at another pixelated mess pretending to be my vision come to life. So I walked away.

Called it quits. At least, that's what it felt like at first. But this "giving up" turned out to be one of the best decisions I could make.

• Taking a Step Back: Initially, stepping away felt like admitting defeat. It was tough to let go, even temporarily, especially after pouring so much of myself and my time into this project month and month.

This pause wasn't just a break from the work; it was an important part of the creative process. It took me out of the trenches, to stop being my own worst critic for a moment, even if at this point I couldn’t see the value in the journey itself.

The Insights from Rest: A Shift in Perception

During that break, my emotions were all over the place. One day, I'd feel relief for stepping away from the frustration. The next, guilt for abandoning what I started. But as days turned into weeks, something began to change in how I viewed both my project and myself.

• Mixed Feelings: Initially, the rest felt like I was just avoiding the inevitable truth that I might never get this right. But then there was this nagging feeling that maybe I gave up too soon, mixed with a sense of peace for not needing to do it anymore.

A Lesson in Letting Go:

Real strength isn't always about pushing non-stop. It's also about knowing when to hit pause, think things over, and sometimes, to let things be.

The Return: Renewed Resolve and Unexpected Turns, Enhanced

After a much-needed hiatus, It was time to return to my unfinished books. I couldn't ignore it. I had to revisit the project but with a different mindset.

This whole experience showed me that being creative isn't just about being tough and persistent; it's equally about being adaptable and paying attention to those small, inner prompts that were helping me grow.

A Journey of Self-Reflection:

• Mixed Emotions: There was pride in what I'd accomplished so far, yet a stream of doubt stifled my excitement. Was I ready to face this challenge again? The answer wasn't clear, but the project's call was too strong to ignore.

• Ego vs. Goal: My initial departure from the project was a battle between my ego and my overarching goal. I had to admit to myself that maybe, just maybe, the books didn't need to be illustrated by me to make the impact I wanted. This thought was both humbling and liberating.

Facing the Music - and the Missing Illustrator:

• The Vanishing Act: As I allowed myself to find a new illustrator, fate threw me a curveball — the illustrator I had finally settled on disappeared only two pages into the job. This unexpected twist felt like a message from the universe, challenging me to reconsider my decision to hand over the reins.

Guidance from a Friend:

• A Nudge Towards Self-Belief: Talking to a friend I met in Thailand unexpectedly changed everything. She really liked and believed in what I'd done, way more than in the pro illustrator's stuff, and that got me thinking. Maybe I was too quick to hand this off. Her suggestion to take a break and then take another look really hit home.

The Struggle Between Going and Pausing:

• The back-and-forth struggle got to the core of my problem. It was all about figuring out when to keep going and when it was okay to take a break and what I needed to abandon altogether.

• The Decision to Keep Going... Differently: In the end, the decision to return to the drawing board wasn't about stubbornly sticking to my initial plan. It was about recognizing that the path to finish this might look different from what I'd imagined. It was about putting the project's needs above my ego to prove I could do it all.

Looking Back:

Taking a break was more than just hitting pause. It changed how I saw everything—from battling every day to realizing I'd made some big leaps forward. This time wasn't wasted; it was a different kind of work, just as important.

Getting this was a game-changer. It made me value what I'd done and got me ready for what was next.

Real Talk on Growth: Stepping back was when I finally saw how much I'd grown. And I'm not just talking about getting better at the craft. I learned what it really means to create something—it's not about the applause or proving I could do it all; it's about making something that really hits home for someone else.

Spotting the Wins: In my break every now and then, I'd look back at my work, not to pick it apart but just to look. And I started seeing wins I missed before. It's kind of like how a plant grows—you don't see it happening, but suddenly, it's there, bigger and fuller. My skills and my grip on the tech had seriously leveled up, bit by bit.

Seeing My Climb: That break gave me a view I couldn't see when I was in the thick of it. Turns out, I WAS on an uphill trek the whole time. With a bit of space, I could see just how much ground I'd covered.

The Culmination: Realizing the Power of the Cycle

Finally, after the whirlwind of doubts, decisions, and unexpected turns, I found myself back where I started: ready to illustrate my books. But not really, this time, it was different.

Now, with new ideas and a boost from my break, I came back to the project more confident and skilled than before.

• A Triumphant Return: With the illustrator out and my friend's words in my head, I jumped back into the work. Suddenly, everything that was tricky before just clicked. All the hard work had paid off, making me better, and now the latest AI and editing tools fit right in with what I could do. It all lined up perfectly.

• Enhanced Skills, Enhanced Vision: The break didn't just give my mind a rest; it actually made me better. I spent that time learning new tricks and techniques, getting ready for this comeback. Now, the work just flowed out of me, easier and better than ever before.

• The Books Come to Life: Book after book started to come alive, packed with all the lessons I picked up along the way. The characters and scenes I dreamed up were now real on the pages, and it felt amazing.

The power of perseverance, rest, and continuous learning.

Mastering the Art of the Pause: Leave, Rest, Return

Walking away from my project felt like admitting defeat at first. I wasn't stepping away with grace; I was retreating like a sore loser. But who was I competing against? My only opponent was me, the same person I should've been rooting for all along.

Let me break down what I learned about gracefully navigating the cycle of leave, rest, and return—lessons I wish I'd used sooner.

How to Gracefully Step Away

Leaving shouldn't feel like you're throwing in the towel in frustration. It's a strategic retreat.

• Acknowledge You're Not Giving Up: Understand that stepping away doesn't mean you're quitting. You're just giving yourself the space you need. I had to learn that the hard way—fighting against myself only led to more frustration.

• Remind Yourself Why: When you decide to take a break, be clear about why you're doing it. Is it to recharge? To gain a new perspective? I wasn't doing this at first, and it turned my breaks into bouts of guilt rather than periods of productive reflection.

• It's Not You vs. You: Remember, you're not abandoning your project or yourself in defeat. You're simply taking a breather. This mindset shift is crucial. I was my own worst enemy, but realizing I should be my biggest supporter changed everything.

Making the Most of Your Rest Phase

This phase is your time to rebuild, not to wallow.

• Dive Into Different Worlds: Do something totally different from your project. This change of scene can light up new ideas and creativity. For me, walking on the beach and going on drives with my husband, far away from writing and drawing, brought back my creative spark in unexpected ways.

• Reflect, Don't Ruminate: Use this time wisely. Reflect on what you've learned and how you've grown instead of dwelling on what went wrong. Initially, I was sulking in misery, which only bred more self-doubt.

• Seek Out New Sources of Inspiration: Let books, art, or conversations with mentors rejuvenate your spirit. I underestimated how much inspiration lay outside my own bubble of creativity.

Returning With a Renewed Spirit

Coming back should feel like a fresh start, not a last resort.

• Look How Far You've Come: Take a moment to appreciate your journey before diving back in. This was a game-changer for me. Seeing my progress from a distance boosted my confidence.

• Redefine Your Goals: With fresh eyes, set new, achievable goals based on your reflections. Your path might look different now, and that's perfectly fine.

• Start With Baby Steps: Ease into it with small tasks to avoid overwhelm. Celebrating these small wins can reignite your passion for the project.

• Keep the Balance: Apply the wisdom gained from your rest phase to maintain a healthier work rhythm. Regular breaks and mindfulness can prevent future burnouts.

The Straight Talk on Working Smart, Not Hard

It's not about grinding yourself into the ground. It's about knowing when to double down and when to take a breather. Pushing when you should pause is a fast track to burning out, and guess what? That might be the very reason you're not hitting those goals you've been dreaming about.

Your ego might be leading you into a trap, telling you to keep going at all costs, but that's likely to blow up in your face.

What Rest Is:

• A chance to step back and see the bigger picture.

• Time to recharge, physically and mentally, so you can come back stronger.

• An opportunity for growth and learning that you just don't get when you're in the thick of it.

What Rest Isn't:

• Laziness or giving up. It's a strategic part of the process.

• A sign of weakness. It takes strength to recognize you need a break.

• Time wasted. This is when some of your best ideas and breakthroughs can come to you.

Incorporating this cycle of action and rest into your life can literally change the game—not just for your projects but for how you tackle any challenge. It's about finding that sweet spot, where you're giving it your all but also respecting your limits.

Success isn't just about the hustle. It's about cultivating a rhythm that includes strategic pauses. This isn't just some feel-good advice; it's a crucial strategy for anyone looking to make their mark without burning out.

Walking away gracefully, resting with purpose, and returning with vigor isn't just about managing a project—it's a bold act of self-respect. I learned the hard way that battling against myself led nowhere. Once I embraced that I was on my own side, the whole game changed.

So, if you find yourself at a crossroads with your work, remember: stepping back isn't defeat. It's an act of kindness towards yourself, a necessary pause that can set the stage for greater achievements ahead.

Embracing the Rhythm of Rest and Action

This journey, from the spark of an idea to the completion of a dream project, taught me something.

Key Insights:

• Balance is Key: Too much action without rest leads to burnout, while too much rest without action can result in stagnation. Finding a balance allows for gradual progress and keeps the creative fires burning without burning out.

• Rest Fuels Insight: Strategic breaks provide the distance necessary to see your work and your challenges from a new perspective. This distance can be the source of breakthrough insights and solutions that throw you off in the thick of the struggle.

• Returning with Renewed Energy: When you give yourself permission to step away, you can return to your projects with renewed vigor, clarity, and enthusiasm. This rejuvenated approach often leads to breakthroughs and accomplishments that felt out of reach before.

A Call to Reflection and Action: Now, I invite you to look at your own life and projects. Are there areas where you're pushing too hard, perhaps close to the point of negative returns? Or maybe there's a challenge you've been avoiding because the path forward seems too scary?

Consider the potential of embracing the rhythm of rest and action:

• Identify a Project or Challenge: Think of something important to you that's been a source of stress or stagnation.

• Plan for a Strategic Pause: Give yourself permission to take a break from this project. Use this time not for worry, but for rejuvenation and reflection.

• Return with Fresh Eyes: When you're ready, come back to your challenge. You might find that the answers and energy you've needed now are right in your hands.

When you're working on creative projects or facing life's hurdles, taking breaks is key. It's not all about going full speed; it's also knowing when it's time to rest.

Finding the right balance shows smart strength, not weakness. My journey with children's books taught me that breaks are part of the path to success, not a step back.

So, when you're stuck, see it as a chance to grow. Taking a step back can actually help you move forward even better. Let's make habits that pave the way to our goals, and remember, rest is just as important.

P.S. For my books, I mixed AI inspiration with other apps and tools to bring my vision to life. It was a lot different than what I thought but I’m really happy with the end result I created.

Here's a sneak peek at the covers of the first three books (five more on the way!). Drop me a message if you'd like an alert when they're out.