When it comes to camping, I'm no stranger to the great outdoors. Creepy crawlers? No problem. Pitch darkness? Bring it on. But a bad night's sleep? That's where I draw the line.

Last weekend, I found myself on a family camping trip – or rather, "glamping" in an Airstream. You'd think that would guarantee a decent rest, right? Wrong.

A bed too small for two tall adults, a wool blanket that might as well have been a dust mite convention, and my eyes and throat itching like I'd cuddled up to a cat (which, for the record, I'm allergic to).

But it was worth every uncomfortable moment.

My oldest daughter conquered a challenging river walk, pushing through icy waters and scaling small waterfalls for three hours straight.

She wanted to quit – three times, in fact. But with the right peers and an amazing guide, she persevered.

Me? I was on kitchen duty, keeping bellies full and spirits high. I'm more of a wildflower spreading up hills than a salmon swimming upstream.

This trip wasn't my idea. It wasn't on my to-do list. It disrupted my plans, my comfort, my sleep. But that's exactly why it mattered.

Because the thing is: If parenting isn't disrupting your life, you're probably not doing it yet.

If Parenting Isn't Disrupting Your Life, You're Probably Not Doing It Yet

Parenting isn't a neat little addition to your perfectly curated life. It's not an accessory you can put on and take off at will. It's messy, it's chaotic, and yes, it's disruptive as hell.

And you know what? That's exactly how it should be.

If your life looks exactly the same as it did pre-kids, I hate to break it to you, but you're probably not fully engaged in this parenting gig. You're coasting.

You're existing in parallel universes – yours and theirs – rarely intersecting in any meaningful way.

Parallel parenting isn't parenting. It's babysitting with benefits.

Here's what parallel parenting often looks like:

• Your kids are off to school, you're off to work

• After school, they're shuttled to activities while you're still at the office

• Everyone reconvenes for a quick dinner (if you're lucky)

• Rinse and repeat

Sound familiar? It's the path of least resistance, sure. But it's also the path of least impact.

Real parenting – the kind that shapes lives and builds resilient, capable adults – is disruptive by nature. It demands your presence, your energy, your willingness to be uncomfortable.

It's not about fitting your kids into your life. It's about reshaping your life around this monumental responsibility you've taken on.

Why is disruption necessary? Because growth doesn't happen in comfort zones. Not for you, and certainly not for your kids.

When you allow parenting to disrupt your life:

1. You're forced to reassess your priorities

2. You learn flexibility and adaptability

3. You discover strengths you never knew you had

4. You model resilience and problem-solving for your children

That camping trip I mentioned? It wasn't convenient. It wasn't comfortable. But it created space for my daughter to challenge herself, to grow, to surprise herself with her own strength.

That's the power of disruption. That's the reality of parenting.

So, if your life is running smoothly, if everything is business as usual, ask yourself:

Am I really parenting, or am I just maintaining the status quo?

Because let me tell you, real parenting will turn your world upside down. And that's precisely where the magic happens.

The Benefits of Disruption

Parenting: The Ultimate Rite of Passage

You've probably heard parenting described as many things. A joy. A challenge. A rollercoaster. But here's one you might not have considered: parenting is the ultimate rite of passage.

It's not just about raising a child. It's about your own rebirth as a fully realized adult. And like any true rite of passage, it's going to shake you to your core.

Parenthood doesn't just change your schedule. It changes your DNA.

Let's break down the growth opportunities that come with embracing parental disruption:

1. Emotional Intelligence Bootcamp: Nothing will test and expand your EQ like a tiny human who can't articulate their needs.

2. Patience Level: Expert: You'll discover reserves of patience you never knew existed. And then you'll need more.

3. Prioritization Mastery: Suddenly, you'll be able to distinguish between what's truly important and what's just noise.

4. Adaptability on Steroids: Plans will change. Then change again. You'll learn to roll with it or get rolled over.

5. Selflessness 2.0: You'll give more of yourself than you ever thought possible, and then give some more.

6. Crisis Management Skills: From explosive diapers to teenage meltdowns, you're now the go-to problem solver.

7. Time Management Wizardry: You'll squeeze more into 24 hours than you ever thought humanly possible.

Now, you might be thinking, "Can't I get these benefits from other life changes? A new job? A challenging relationship?"

Sure, those experiences offer growth too. But they're like dipping your toes in the kiddie pool compared to the ocean of transformation that is parenting.

• A new job might challenge your skills, but it won't redefine your entire identity.

• A new relationship might push your boundaries, but it won't demand the 24/7 commitment that a child does.

• Moving to a new city might disrupt your routine, but it won't fundamentally alter your priorities and worldview.

Parenting does all of this and more. It's the PhD of personal growth.

Remember my daughter's river walk adventure? Turns out, we both grew that day. When she spilled all the details that evening, I felt my world shift a bit.

I had no clue it would be so tough for her. Hearing about the times she nearly gave up made my heart race. But I was listening to a story of pure grit, knowing she'd already conquered it.

This whole experience changed us both. She tackled a physical challenge, and I? I got a wake-up call about what she's really capable of.

That's the beauty of parenting. It's not just about raising a kid. It's about growing yourself to handle the wild ride of shaping another human being.

The Unique Demands of Parenting

Now, as a parent I bet you can debunk some myths about preparing for parenthood:

Myth 1: "I babysit all the time. I'm totally ready for kids." Reality: Babysitting is like test-driving a car. Parenting is like learning to build one from scratch, while it's moving.

Myth 2: "I've read every parenting book out there. I've got this." Reality: Those books are guidelines, not gospel. Your kid didn't read them and won't follow the script.

Myth 3: "My partner and I agree on everything. Parenting will be a breeze." Reality: Nothing tests a relationship like deciding whether a 2-year-old really needs that fifth cookie.

Nothing can fully prepare you for parenthood. It's a job you learn on the go, with the highest stakes imaginable.

But the beautiful part – you're irreplaceable. No one else can be your child's parent the way you can. Not a nanny, not a teacher, not even the most advanced AI.

Why? Because parenting isn't just about feeding, clothing, and educating. It's about:

• Sharing your values and worldview

• Offering unconditional love and acceptance

• Providing a safe space for growth and mistakes

• Modeling how to navigate life's complexities

That camping trip where my daughter pushed her limits on that river walk-That growth happened because she knew she had a safe base to return to. She could take risks because she knew we'd be there, no matter what.

That's the irreplaceable role of a parent. We're not just caretakers. We're safe harbors, compasses, and launch pads all rolled into one.

So no, raising a child is not like getting a dog. It's harder, messier, and infinitely more complex. But it's also more rewarding than you could ever imagine.

You're not just keeping a tiny human alive. You're shaping the future. You're molding a person who will go out into the world and make their mark.

Presence vs. Sacrifice

Being Present Doesn't Mean Sacrificing Everything

Let's clear something up right now: being a present parent doesn't mean you have to throw your entire identity into the fire of child-rearing.

You can be fully present for your kids without becoming a martyr to parenthood.

I'm not talking about the kind of presence where you're at your kid's beck and call 24/7, catering to their every whim. That's not parenting. That's servitude. And it's not doing you or your kids any favors.

Real presence is about quality, not quantity. It's about being fully engaged when you are with your kids, not just physically there while your mind wanders to your to-do list.

So how do you balance your personal goals with your parenting responsibilities?

It's not easy, but it's necessary. Here's how I approach it:

1. Get crystal clear on your personal identity and goals. If you don't know who you are outside of being a parent, how can you show up fully for your kids?

2. Model the life you want your kids to live. If you want them to pursue their passions, they need to see you doing the same.

3. Involve your kids in your pursuits when possible. This is where the magic happens.

Let me share a personal example: Stone Soup Family Pop-Up Community. This was my way of combining my passion for community building with my role as a parent.

Families from all over the world, coming together for a month, learning, growing, and exploring. We shared skills, knowledge, and experiences. The kids made friends, the adults connected on a deeper level, and we all grew together.

One participant put it beautifully: "Community means that I can count on people to help me and support me whenever I need help, and I can do the same for them."

This wasn't just about my kids having playmates. It was about showing them how to create the world they want to live in. It was about teaching them that community isn't just something you find – it's something you build.

And you know what? My kids were right there with me, learning these lessons firsthand. They weren't a distraction from my goals – they were an integral part of achieving them.

4. Set boundaries and stick to them. Your time is valuable. Teach your kids to respect that.

5. Quality over quantity, always. An hour of focused, engaged time beats a whole day of distracted hovering.

Maintaining your personal identity isn't selfish.

It's essential.

Your kids need to see you as a whole person, not just as an extension of their needs.

Your personal goals aren't a distraction from parenting. They're a crucial part of it.

They show your kids that growth doesn't stop when you become an adult.

That pursuing passions is a lifelong journey.

That it's possible to be committed to your family and to yourself at the same time.

So stop feeling guilty about having a life outside your kids. Stop thinking that being present means being all-consumed.

Instead, get clear on who you are and what you want. Pursue those goals with gusto.

And bring your kids along for the ride when you can.

Remember, you're not raising children. You're raising future adults. And they need to see what a well-rounded, passionate adult looks like.

That's you. Don't sell yourself – or them – short.

As one Stone Soup participant said, "Everyone here is doing their own thing. Everyone's original." That's the kind of world we want our kids to create, isn't it? So let's show them how it's done.

No Friction, No Growth

Ever watched a seed sprout? It's not a gentle process. That tiny seed fights its way through the soil, pushing against the very earth that nourishes it.

It's a battle, but without that struggle, there'd be no mighty oak, no field of sunflowers, no forest.

Parenting is a lot like that seed. The friction, the challenges, the moments that make you want to tear your hair out? That's your growth happening in real-time.

Think about it:

- A seed doesn't break through soil by wishing it were easier.

- A butterfly doesn't emerge from its chrysalis by avoiding the struggle.

- And you won't become the parent your child needs by dodging the hard stuff.

Every tantrum, every sleepless night, every moment of self-doubt – these aren't obstacles to good parenting. They're the building blocks.

So, here's my challenge to you: Next time parenting throws you a curveball (and trust me, it will), don't duck. Lean in. Ask yourself:

1. What can I learn from this?

2. How is this helping my child grow?

3. How can this make me a better parent?

Embrace the disruption. Welcome the friction. Because that's where the magic happens.

Let's recap:

1. If parenting isn't disrupting your life, you're probably not doing it yet.

2. Being present doesn't mean sacrificing everything.

3. Growth happens in the challenges, not in the comfort.

Parenting isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about growing alongside your child, learning as you go, and being willing to be reshaped by the journey.

You're not just raising a child. You're raising yourself too. And it's the most important work you'll ever do.

So go ahead. Let parenting turn your world upside down. That's where you'll find your strength, your purpose, and yes, even yourself.

After all, the mightiest trees grow from seeds that weren't afraid to break through the soil. Be that seed. Grow that mighty tree. Your kids – and you – will thank you for it.