Why You Think It’s Not Working

I have a confession.

For 10 years, I’ve been trying to learn guitar.

And by “trying,” I mean I’ve started, stopped, restarted, convinced myself I was serious, dropped it again, picked it back up—only to let it collect dust again.

At first, I told myself I was just too busy. Kids, homeschooling, running a business, moving countries—there was always something.

But recently, I had to get real with myself. Was this really about time? Or was I running into a pattern I didn’t want to admit?

I started asking myself:

• Do I actually not have time? Or am I just avoiding the frustration of not being instantly great?

• Is this about guitar? Or am I unknowingly repeating this pattern in other areas of my life?

• What if this “not working” phase is actually part of the process—and I just keep quitting before I reach the breakthrough?

And then it hit me.

I see this exact same thing happening with parents.

• “I tried homeschooling for a month, but my child wouldn’t listen.”

• “I’d love to eat healthier, but my kid only eats chicken nuggets.”

• “I started a new routine, but it didn’t stick.”

Sound familiar?

It’s not that these things don’t work. It’s that we often quit too soon—right before the real progress begins.

So let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about why things feel like they stop working and why that’s exactly when you need to push through.

Because confidence doesn’t come from getting it right the first time.

Confidence comes from sticking it out long enough to get competent.

And that—is where the magic happens.

The Excitement Phase Feels Like Confidence

You know that rush you get when you start something new? That this is it! energy?

That’s how I felt every time I picked up the guitar again.

The first few lessons? Exciting. I learned a few chords, strummed through some beginner songs, and thought, Hey, I might actually get good at this.

Same thing happens when people start a new diet. First week—pounds drop, energy spikes, digestion feels amazing.

Or when parents start homeschooling. First few days—freedom! Connection! Learning feels fun again.

And then… the plateau hits.

The weight loss stalls. The homeschooling excitement turns into why won’t this child just sit down and listen? My fingers start cramping from barre chords that feel impossible.

The brain starts whispering:

• Maybe this just isn’t for me.

• Maybe I don’t have what it takes.

• Maybe it worked for other people, but it won’t work for me.

We mistake the end of excitement for the end of progress.

And that’s where most people give up.

Not because they weren’t capable.

Not because the thing didn’t work.

But because they hit the part where real learning begins—and they didn’t recognize it.

The Plateau Creates Doubt

I’ve seen this pattern play out over and over—not just in myself, but in other people, in parenting, in health, in business.

The excitement of something new carries us just long enough to believe we’ve got momentum. And then, suddenly, the progress slows—or worse, it feels like we’re going backward.

This is the plateau phase—and it’s where most people quit.

• In fitness: You start strong. The weight is dropping, the workouts feel amazing. Then one day, the scale stops moving. You’re sweating just as much, eating just as clean, but nothing’s happening.

• In health remedies: You take a supplement or try a detox. At first, you feel better—more energy, better digestion. Then, out of nowhere, you feel exhausted, sluggish, maybe even worse than before.

• In learning: You’re picking up a language, a skill, an instrument. At first, every lesson feels like a breakthrough. Then, suddenly, you feel stuck. The words won’t come, the fingers won’t move, and it feels like you’re not getting any better.

And that’s when the doubt creeps in.

• Maybe this diet doesn’t work for me.

• Maybe I should try a different workout.

• Maybe homeschooling just isn’t for us.

• Maybe I’m not cut out for this.

But here’s what’s really happening: the work is still working—you just can’t see it yet.

What’s Actually Going On?

Your body, your brain, and even your child’s learning process are constantly adapting.

• In health: When your body stops shedding weight, it’s not failure—it’s homeostasis kicking in. Your metabolism is adjusting to new conditions, and if you keep going, the breakthrough will come.

• In healing: That period where you feel worse before you feel better? It’s called the Herxheimer reaction—a real biological process where your body is detoxing faster than it can eliminate waste. It’s actually a sign that the treatment is working, but your system needs time to catch up.

• In learning: The plateau is where deep skill-building happens. Your brain is rewiring, making stronger neural connections, preparing for a leap—if you don’t quit first.

This isn’t failure. It’s not proof that it’s not working.

It’s proof that you’re right in the middle of the transformation.

And what you do next determines everything.

Competence Comes From Pushing Through the Hard Part

Here’s what nobody tells you: The plateau isn’t a stop sign. It’s a rite of passage.

When things get hard, most people assume:

• This isn’t working.

• I must not be good at this.

• Maybe I should try something else.

But the truth? The hard part is where the magic happens.

What Happens When You Push Through?

• In fitness: That “stuck” phase? It’s when your muscles are learning to adapt. Your nervous system is recalibrating. If you stay consistent, your body will break through to new strength, endurance, and fat loss—but only if you keep going.

• In parenting: That moment when your child resists a new routine or habit? It’s not proof that it’s failing. It’s proof that they’re adjusting—testing whether this change is real or just another passing phase. If you stay steady, they adapt.

• In learning: The frustration of not “getting it” is actually evidence that your brain is rewiring. Neural pathways are strengthening. And then one day, boom—what felt impossible suddenly feels second nature.

This is how competence is built.

Not by quitting when things get hard. Not by jumping to the next “shiny” strategy.

But by staying the course, especially when it feels like nothing is happening.

Competence First, Confidence Follows

Most people believe confidence is something you have before you start.

Wrong.

Confidence isn’t what makes you start—it’s what you earn by proving to yourself that you can push through.

• You don’t become a confident speaker by waiting until you “feel ready.” You speak, stumble, get better, and one day, you own the stage.

• You don’t become confident in parenting by waiting for a perfect moment. You lead, make mistakes, adjust, and suddenly, you know you’ve got this.

• You don’t become confident in your body by waiting until you hit your “goal weight.” You show up, day after day, until one day, you feel strong.

Most People Quit Right Before the Breakthrough

There’s a reason the plateau feels so uncomfortable—it’s because it’s the bridge between amateur and expert.

And most people never cross it.

They stop just short of the breakthrough. They convince themselves it’s not working when, in reality, they were inches away from leveling up.

And the ones who keep going?

They become the people who seem naturally confident. The ones who make things look easy.

But it wasn’t natural. It wasn’t easy.

They just didn’t stop.

Confidence Comes After You’ve Proven You Can Stick It Out

Let’s face it, quitting feels logical in the moment.

Your mind will come up with every excuse in the book to justify stopping:

• “This just isn’t working for me.”

• “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

• “It shouldn’t be this hard.”

• “I’ll just try something else instead.”

But what if those thoughts weren’t red flags to quit—but proof that you’re actually right on track?

Because,

Confidence Isn’t Given, It’s Earned

Most people are waiting to feel confident before they take action.

But confidence doesn’t come from books, motivation, or even encouragement from others.

Confidence is built when you prove to yourself that you can push through the hard part.

• The parent who sticks with homeschooling after the initial struggle becomes confident in their ability to lead their child’s education.

• The person who keeps eating healthy even when it’s inconvenient becomes confident that they can fuel their body well—no matter what.

• The entrepreneur who pushes past the slow months becomes confident that they can handle uncertainty and still win.

And once you’ve done it a few times?

You start to trust yourself.

Not because someone told you, “You can do it,” but because you’ve already done it.

This Is Happening Everywhere—Are You Seeing It?

Start paying attention to the patterns.

• That moment when your kid says, "I don’t want to do this anymore," right when they were getting better at something?

• That moment when you decide to change your eating habits, and a week later, your cravings come back stronger than ever?

• That moment when you’re learning a new skill, and it suddenly feels like you’re getting worse instead of better?

That’s not failure.

That’s the unseen work happening beneath the surface.

And the people who keep going? They’re the ones who win.

What Happens When You Keep Going?

When you recognize the plateau for what it is; a test, not a dead-end, everything changes.

Because the more times you push through, the less you’ll fear the discomfort.

You’ll stop doubting the process.
You’ll stop second-guessing yourself.
You’ll stop quitting right before the breakthrough.

And one day, you’ll wake up and realize…

You’re not just trying anymore.

You are.

How to Push Through the Plateau

Awareness is everything. Now that you see the pattern, you can change it.

Here’s how:

1. Name Your Plateau

Look at where you’ve felt like something “stopped working.”

• The workout plan that felt great at first, but now feels like a grind.

• The homeschooling method that worked for a few weeks, then got “hard.”

• The new business, diet, or skill that started strong—then hit a wall.

That’s your plateau. Name it. Own it. Recognize it for what it is.

2. Shift the Narrative

Instead of thinking: “This isn’t working.”

Try: “This is the moment that decides whether I level up or not.”

Instead of: “Maybe I’m just not good at this.”

Try: “I’m in the middle of the process—this means I’m exactly where I should be.”

The words you use shape whether you keep going or quit. Choose wisely.

3. Track Progress Over Months, Not Days

Most people quit because they’re focused on the short-term discomfort instead of the long-term transformation.

• If you’re homeschooling, track skills over months, not daily frustrations.

• If you’re changing your health, look at your energy, strength, or digestion over time—not just the scale.

• If you’re learning something new, celebrate what you can do now that you couldn’t do last year.

4. Create a “Keep Going” Rule

Make a commitment before you hit the plateau.

• For skills: “I’ll give this six months before deciding if it’s ‘not for me.’”

• For parenting: “I won’t change the plan just because my child resists—it’s part of the process.”

• For health: “I’ll stick to this for 90 days before making adjustments.”

Decide now how you’ll handle the moment when doubt creeps in.

5. Find Proof That It Works

Look for people who have already done what you’re trying to do.

• The parent who stuck with homeschooling and now has thriving, self-led kids.

• The person who pushed through their health plateau and finally saw a breakthrough.

• The entrepreneur who stayed the course when no one was buying—and now has a successful business.

If it worked for them, it can work for you.

The only difference? They didn’t stop.

The Real Work Is Happening Right Now

If you’re in the middle of the frustration phase—if you feel stuck, exhausted, or tempted to quit—this is the moment that makes or breaks your confidence.

Because confidence isn’t built when things are easy.

It’s built right now. In the sticking with it. In the showing up anyway.

You’re not failing. You’re not behind. You’re in the messy middle of mastery.

And if you keep going?

You’ll come out the other side stronger, wiser, and more powerful than you ever imagined.

Keep Going—Your Breakthrough Is Closer Than You Think

Every time I pick up my guitar again, I remind myself of this truth:

The only difference between the people who make it and the people who don’t?

One group stops. The other keeps going.

And this time, I’m choosing to keep going.

This week, I’m picking up my guitar again—but this time, something’s different. My daughter, who once struggled through her own plateaus, is now the one coaching me. She’s given me a routine, a practice plan, and her time.

If I don’t show up for this, I’m not just letting myself down. I’m letting her down.

And that’s the thing—sometimes you have to raise the stakes. Make it hurt to quit. Put something on the line that makes stopping not an option.

So here’s my challenge to you—where in your life have you convinced yourself something “isn’t working” when really… you just hit the plateau?

What would happen if, instead of quitting, you pushed through?

If you showed your kids what it looks like to stick with something hard—not just for a week, but for the long haul?

Because when you do?

You don’t just build confidence. You build proof—for yourself, for your kids, for everyone watching—that you are capable of more than you ever believed.

You’re in the process of becoming.

Now’s not the time to stop. Now’s the time to go all in.

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